AND HERE WE GO

so i started this new blog (my previous and almost dead blog's link here) in the (probably overly optimistic) hope that i will resume blogging with the same energy and vigor as i did years ago.

my old blog was abit too... colorful? cluttered? happy? well whatever it was, this is me now. white. uncluttered. simple......... nah. unfortch not. probably what i wld like to aspire too but i love my material possessions too much to go all zen. closest to zen im getting now is during my (all too infrequent) yoga classes. emotionally, im as cluttered and as backed up as my old blog. inconsistent and all too complicated but hah, another story for another day.

so.
here we are.
2012.
i'm 25 (gahhh!! almost 26!!!! :/)
in a nutshell, someone who wants to do too much, but more often than not, is held back by either the lack of time or the lack of discipline.

still in the events market, but may want to step out of this industry (simply put, after 3 years, im becoming moldy, im not even able to stay in a relationship for this long) momentarily to get some fresh perspective on life (and hopefully more dough haha).

i have friends, but i do regret my utter laziness at more frequent attempts to meet up. then again, its always a hard fight internally to rather meet up my old friends for supper than just stay at home and blissfully not have to entertain anyone randomly chopping up monsters and saving the world, or kick back with a beer and let someone else (ie. shows with paid actors who are paid) entertain me.

oh and did i mention everyone seems to be getting married (damn you fb)?

on that rather depressing note this is prob the one thing that has changed in me the most, from my old blog to new. i think the more i SEE people get married, the less i think i seem to be heading down that road until i hit a ripe, old age of 35. where i used to be idealistic that life wld be perfect when i married my sweetheart and bore his beautiful, talented children, ive come to realize that getting married doesnt mean anything more than a signature on a paper, increased societal pressures and a huge ass burden to not fuck up simply cos now you have to answer for both of you.

[[SPOILER ALERT! (for the idealistic (or naive) - refrain from the following!) have done extensive research and have concluded that 7 out of 10 people will at some point of life have an extramarital affair, this is counting in both emotional and/or physical affairs. yes admittedly, the numbers are just as high when is a relationship, but you know when you take your vows you're thinking "oh hey happily ever after!"... sorry dude. not gonna happen :)]]

and thus, this is now my wholly realistic take on life. go in with both eyes open and take everything with a pinch of salt. disappointment and heartache is just that little bit more palatable. and lest people think im unhappy cos of this, im not! for that matter, im thinking this is finally me growing up (now i get why parents want to shield their children from all this hard truths of life, BUT THANKS MUM, DAD, THANKS FOR LETTING ME LEARN THE HARD WAY -_-).

im in general satisfied with life, and have come to accept that i do not so nice things but not to beat myself up for it cos it doesnt affect anyone else so why be so hard on yourself. and i seem to have slightly embraced (tentatively hugged? half hugged? air kissed?) growing old. as my friends fight the constant battle of reaching 30, hey, its gonna happen. might as well enjoy it. as long as my eggs are still viable, ill be ok to wait.

meaning in life for me comes in the form of looking forward to (yes, do pls judge me for being a total geek)
- new shows (Game of Thrones S3! American Horror Story S2! The Walking Dead S3! Community S4!) - if i managed to wait for Futurama to be cancelled (2003), release a series of TV movies (2007), uncancelled (2009), then renewed (2010) AND IM FINALLY WATCHING IT (2012)! i think im well honed in being patient for life)!
- new games (damn you D3 you a whole new meaning to LONG-AWAITED. and now as i slowly but steadily finish inferno, i patiently await D4 thats gonna prob only be out another 10 years from now -_- nonetheless! my sims has nv disappointed me and will continue to churn out expansion after expansion of money and time sucking sequels :D)
- new books (The sixth and seventh installment of George RR Martin's epic A Song of Ice & Fire series, amongst others)
- new movies (wow, i cant even begin to list this out)
- new places (officially the journey begins this oct to australia woohoo. have lofty dreams to visit every continent in the world but... we'll see)

apart from being the entertainment junkie, i also am an avid caffeine consumer and more often than not, semi-alcoholic. recently forced myself to start exercising simply because the indulgences of my daily life are finally taking a toll on my beloved fat rolls. they now can officially be considered spare tyres. sad but true.

and thats me in a nutshell.
let's hope when i read back on this first entry, i wont cringe as much as when i read back my first entry of my previous blog written all the way back in 2005. am even too embarrassed to share the link.
let's hope that when i read back on this first entry, i'll look back with fond memories of how self assured and confident i am. and how i almost seem happy. albeit more resigned happy at the fact that this is as good as it gets. but happy nonetheless.

FINGERS CROSSED LA OK.